Friday, November 29, 2013

To Keep Growing, or to Recover?

Even the word itself, "re" - "cover" .... cover it back up again. Don't let that out, once it's out you can't go back ;), do you even want to?
A conversation with a friend had me saying .... "I'd really like to go to LNE Victoria, but I'm not sure my brain is ready for more, I haven't yet recovered from LNE Vancouver". The word "recover" struck a cord with me.
What does that even mean, to recover? Is this actually something I should be aiming for?
As I thought more about it....I realized that, actually, recovery is going backwards. It makes sense that perhaps a desire for such a recovery is likely to emerge after having a paradigm shifting week of events.
However, upon further reflection, this is really the old world trying to hang on, to grasp at what it can. It would seem as though recovery keeps us stuck, and brings us back to the business-as-usual world. We are used to going back so it becomes second nature to want to take time to chill and "recover". But really, recovery is only relevant when you are looking to return. And, as appealing as it is to cling on to what we know, and where we find comfort, I realize that these are merely constructs of our limited understanding of  our existence, and ultimately, of the universe.

And that is not to say that actually stepping back to take a break, to let these new ideas, and understandings ripple through you and find an even deeper meaning is a bad thing, because it most certainly is not, but it was just interesting for me to notice the language that I spoke, and tune into it on a deeper level. I was able to notice it, and use it as a sort of "warning sign".. "ah ha!, Old World trickery!", instead of going that route, I've mindfully chosen to carry on. To just be. Be in the new, which can encompass, at times, uncomfortable, and overwhelming sensations, but, you see, these feelings are, indeed, the fuel to manifestation of the connected, aware, and more beautiful world we strive to live within. Therefore, upon all this reflection, I'm embracing where I'm at, the complete unknown, full of possibilities, erupting with potential. I have let go of my desire to recover, and am moving forward rolling with all of it. And, I will be attending LNE Victoria. Here we go.

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